How to Get Your Child to Therapy: Practical, Evidence-Based Tips for Tweens

When your child is struggling with anxiety, depression, social challenges, or emotional regulation, therapy can be a transformative step. However, convincing a tween to attend therapy can be tricky. At this stage, they are gaining independence, questioning authority, and may feel resistant to the idea of talking to a stranger about their feelings.

Here’s how you can approach the conversation effectively, based on research and clinical experience.

What to Say to Your Tween About Therapy

1. Normalize Therapy

   • "Therapy is like a coach for your emotions, just like a sports coach helps with skills in a game."

   • "Lots of kids go to therapy! It’s a safe place to talk and learn cool strategies for handling stress."

   • "Even adults see therapists—it’s totally normal."

2. Give Them Some Control

   • "You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to. Therapy is about what feels right for you."

   • "You can meet the therapist and decide if it’s a good fit. If not, we can look for someone else."

   • "You don’t have to go forever—let’s just try a few sessions and see how you feel."

3. Frame It as a Supportive Tool, Not a Punishment

   • "Therapy isn’t about fixing something that’s ‘wrong.’ It’s about helping you feel better and making life easier."

   • "You deserve to have a space where you can talk about anything without feeling judged."

   • "Your therapist is there to help you, not to tell you what to do."

What NOT to Say to Your Tween About Therapy

• ❌ "You need therapy because something is wrong with you."

• ❌ "If you don’t go, you’ll never get better."

• ❌ "Just do it for me."

• ❌ "The therapist will tell you how to behave."

These statements can make your child feel like therapy is a punishment or a problem to be fixed. Instead, focus on therapy as a helpful and positive experience.

How to Make Therapy Successful for Your Tween

1. Let Them Have a Say
   Allow your child to have a voice in choosing the therapist. Let them see pictures, watch an intro video, or attend a brief consultation.

2. Be Open About the Process
   Explain that therapy isn’t just about talking—it can include art, games, and activities that help make emotions easier to understand. Learn more about Art Therapy for tweens here.

3. Set Realistic Expectations
   Therapy takes time. Help your tween understand that progress happens gradually, and it’s okay to feel unsure at first.

4. Respect Their Privacy
   Assure them that what they say in therapy is private (except in cases of safety concerns). This helps build trust.

5. Support Therapy at Home
   Reinforce what they learn in therapy by modeling emotional regulation, problem-solving, and healthy communication. Here’s a guide on how parents can support therapy at home.

Final Thoughts

Getting a tween to therapy requires patience, open communication, and reassurance. By approaching the conversation with empathy and giving them a sense of control, you set the stage for a successful experience.

At Davenport Creative Arts Therapy, we specialize in helping tweens navigate their emotions through Art Therapy and evidence-based techniques like DBT and Mindfulness. If you’re ready to explore therapy for your child, schedule a free consultation today.